"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19 (niv)
We shouldn't look to others to make us happy. Have you heard of the phrase,
"You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours."
In other words, if you meet my needs then I'll meet yours, or vice versa. But what happens when others we know and love don't meet our needs? You'll know it because the feelings and emotions all begins within you. You're the one that triggered whatever you're feeling. When my needs are not met, we boil, fume, irritate, and become bitter! The external problem is not the problem. The problem is, "me". There's either a little or big, "I, me, my" in us. What's in it for me? What about my "needs"?
But the truth is, what we often call "needs" normally better fit the category of "wants". We want others to respect us, admire us, need us. But are those true needs? No one can meet all our needs aside from God Himself. If you depend on a spouse, a friend, a brother to meet your "needs", you set yourself up for trouble. When you expect the "other" to meet your needs and they don't, you're in for a emotional wreck! The relationship becomes an unhealthy, codependent one. This is one of the reasons why friendship or relationship isn't intact.
So your fulfillment is not the job of someone else. God has given this job to you, and only you can shoulder it. "And my God will meet all your needs.." (Phil. 4:19) You are the one who cooperates with Him and receives His riches as He gives them.
The truth is, no one can "make" you happy. Not a spouse. Not a friend. Not a boss or a neighbor or a minister. And you, and not someone else, choose how you will react to what life throws at you. You, and no one else, decide what you will do when someone pushes your "fear button".
Each of us have a "fear" of something. "Fear" of rejection, disappointment, lack of control, and hundreds of other emotional signs. When we're rejected, the "others" pressed our "fear button" enabling us to do the "fear dance" (irritated emotions, outbursts, anger). So it is our responsibility to make sure that we don't do the "fear dance". If the "others" do not meet my needs, for all I care, I am satisfied and relieved that it is, "GOD" who meets all of my needs. I pray that it is the same for you. Don't let "others" let you down when they do not meet your needs.
You can choose to think about life and how you handle your emotions (fear buttons, fear dance) and do a different kind of dance, the Godly dance. It takes tremendous amount of humility to simply allow whomever tries to push your button to fade away. I am not saying that we become a cold and impassive person of God. We forgive. We listen. We ask questions for the reason for it in a Christian way. This will determine your level of happiness and fulfillment. If you do the "fear dance", don't expect happiness to swirl around in your life.
Apostle Paul wrote, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:18 (niv)
Yes! It depends on you. The external problem is never the problem. The real problem lies within you. Surprised? So am I! You behave the way you want to behave because you're not getting what you need/want! Instead, we must simply remove the "Fear Buttons" inside us and live a productive life with God; dancing with God!
And remember, this is only a very small portion of the whole book, "DNA of Relationships" by Gary Smalley. The world is watching us in how we behave. How is your relationship with your co-worker, your family, your friends, your children, your spouse and the most important of all, God?
(Bloggers, feel free to make comments along with my blogs.)
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