i n c o m p e t e n t s

Don't you hate that word? Incompetent... Incompetent to stand trial. Incompetent to perform normal duties. Incompetent to make decisions. Incompetent to serve our Great and Living Lord. Sounds discouraging. Even worse, if someone close to you would dare say this to you.

I've felt this way before. It happened in 1994 after I gave my life and buried it in baptism giving the Lord my sacrifice. A couple months later, my beloved minister of the Lord, Jose Abenchuchan, came to me and said, "Mark, would you like to preach in two weeks?" Good question. I have absolutely no bible knowledge, not even a quote.. I was still learning by attending the Men's bible class memorizing the Scriptures and learning the timeline and maps. My mind wasn't taking in the Scripture which should be like water absorbed to a sponge. Then I said, "Sure.. Why not." But I wasn't exactly sure how or what or where to start.

Jose took me to the library at the old Overland Park church of Christ building. My eyes gazed around and see hundreds of books. Jose showed me some books written by Christian authors, concordances, dictionaries, bible college class books, etc., etc. Then Jose said, "Now, that'll get you started.." then he left. I was appalled as I was being clouded with these hundreds of books. My heart wasn't telling me anything. I skimmed through a few books but nothing came to mind. Until, finally, something did come to mind. I was thinking about how the deaf are so involved with stocks, mutual funds, and investing for their future. And my thoughts about it: it was a sin! Now, don't get me wrong.. It's nice to have an investment for future retirement. I'm all for it. If that's the only thing you worship today, then it becomes what God calls it, "idolatry". Anyway, I began looking at the concordances (my favorite) where it shows me the verses from a word such as "lust", "money", "power" and others.

My first lesson on Sunday. The room was packed with more than a normal deaf worship service. Jose was shocked! In the back of my mind, I thought to myself, "Perhaps, I should use my lesson for the next week. Not today.." I preached. One hour later. (Yes, I preached for one hour!) And the worse of all is, I only quoted the verses without explaining the meaning of each verse! Ouch! I sweated. People were yawning. Eyes were rolling. The chairs in the back sleeps ten. And a few deaf investors squirming in their chair. I got a bad review from them but a laughing review from Jose. I know Jose means well.. (I'm still chuckling today because it was a moment I'll never forget.)

And yes.. At that point, I did feel incompetent to preach the gospel to the deaf in the world. I don't think I ever preached again until I got into Bible school. When I decided to give up my home and career to become a full-time servant of the Lord, I still have these feelings of incompetence. I thought to myself, "God will give me a gift other than preaching the gospel." I'm thankful that I'm not a powerful orator. If I was, I would be impressing people instead of God. God is only interested in my heart, not how I preach. During Bible school, everyday, we have this "preaching lab" where ministers-in-training will have the opportunity to preach and receive criticism. It's nice to get criticism like "You need to emphasize Jesus more", "You didn't clearly explain the Scripture", "That's not what the Scripture says", "You took the Scripture out of context" and stuff like that. There were positive comments, of course. But the critiques I received still showed my incompetency to preach the gospel.

Later in my studies at Sunset International Bible Institute, I learned a whole lot more. It's about how Jesus choose His men to change the world!! Jesus didn't go to the wise. Nor did He go to the strong in faith. He didn't go to the Pharisees whom were already "teachers of the law" in the wrong way. He didn't look for spiritual elite! Jesus wasn't looking for a hunky-looking guy or a person that was chosen as the "Most Likely To Succeed" by his Jewish school classmates. Jesus chose..... Twelve.... Ordinary..... Sinful.... Insecure people like you and me!

Fishermen.
Tax collector.
Accountant.
Political activist.

They were outcast before the eyes of the Pharisees. They were partiers, cheaters, liars, deceivers. But Jesus surrounded Himself among them. Jesus prefers an ordinary guy. I've been there. I partied. I had several dates. I dumped them. I hurt people. I cheated. Pride loves me and I love pride. I was a backstabber. I was too stupid, too sinful and made many mistakes. I wasn't good enough.

But God prepared me to make a difference in this dark world. God is using me and He can still use you if you're still living the ordinary, worldly ways.

I just couldn't believe, now, how God has led me through these trials beginning on August 29th, 1994 when I first met Jose. We studied the Scripture. God pierced my heart. I looked back to all that I've done to people, and worse, myself! Then I thought to myself, "Me, a preacher". Moses been there..

Moses wanted God to choose someone else. But God is determined that Moses is da man to do the job. Moses gave his excuse, "Oh Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue." (Exodus 4:10) And that would be me, too.. I love to sing, but to preach is a the very bottom of the "To-D0-List". What if someone ask me a question where I don't know the answer? What if I say the wrong thing or quote the Scripture out of a context? I am subjected to blame. I am the center of attention. I see bananas, apples, cream pies ready to receive a beating if I give a bad message.

I read a book where a friend of the writer quoted,

"God doesn't choose the prepared. He prepares the chosen."

Wow!! That's it!! That's exactly it!! No matter how unprepared you feel, it's God's business to prepare you!! You've experienced the delicacies of the world now He wants you to taste the delicacies of Heaven! He's teaching you how to touch, taste, and smell Heaven! So you might never feel ready and that's okay.. In fact, since you might not feel ready, God will still call you and prepare you for the job. Jesus came to Matthew, the tax collector, and said, "Come and follow me." That was it! Matthew was doing his business of collecting taxes probably for years. He could say to himself, "Ha! I haven't been trained to do whatever you want me to do." Matthew didn't do that.. Instead, he dropped everything, abandoned his bank and followed Jesus where Jesus will train Matthew and the rest of the eleven to change the world!

If you're feeling incompetent today, that's wonderful!! God works better with the incompetents than with competents!!! God is ready to use you. Believe it or not, you'll be ready for His use!